Hello Friends,

Having a quarter-life crisis? Unhappy with your current academic credentials or social standing? Looking for a way to support the Jews of the Former Soviet Union? Do Molly and Bess have an exciting opportunity to help YOU have the life YOU deserve! Unlike other online diploma mills who give degrees and titles based on “life experience,” we believe tzedakah lies at the heart of any degree.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Donate to the FSU Pesach Project to help us celebrate Passover with the Jews of Simferopol, Ukraine. Start the process at www.pesachproject.com

Step 2: Select the title or honorific YOU want from the drop down list on the donation page.

Step 3: Wait for your official computer-generated HUC donation acknowledgement to be delivered by mail. Frame and display prominently in your home or office.

Step 4: Start your new life by beginning to practice medicine, command a merchant vessel, oversee a church parish, represent your state in the US Senate, pretend you are German, or dozens of other exciting opportunities.

Here are just some of the possibilities, along with the suggested donation for each.

Preferred—$9.95

• Chaplain
• Commissioner
• Councilman
• Frau
• Friar
• Madam
• Professor

Elite—$17.95

• Colonel
• Congressman
• Doctor
• Esquire
• General
• Judge
• Mayor

Platinum—$35.95

• Ambassador
• Bishop
• Chancellor
• Count
• Senator
• His Eminence
• President

For the full list, visit the donation page. The next chapter of your life starts with a single click!

Signed,

Chancellor Bess Wohlner & Count Molly Plotnik

*Written by Jeremy Simons, approved by Bess.